So, there's this thing, it's called seasonal eating? Oh, you think it's new, hot, and en vogue?
Who's ready for more FED?? If you don't think you're the go-it-alone entrepreneur type... fear not! Josh will work to convince us all that anyone can view the world in an entrepreneurial way: no matter whether from within an established organization, or even just perceiving and working to solve problems in the flow of day-to-day life.
Or, come to get fed! An innovative four-course meal will be served. Stay tuned for menu details...
It happened! The very first FED was very much a dream come true. How did it come true? Through the participation, creativity, and supportive presence of many people. Roi Ben-Yehuda, our inaugural speaker par excellence, delivered a stellar FED talk on conflict resolution. He managed to make the topic extra-engaging through presenting a variety of reasons that conflict is just like sex. If it sounds tenuous, trust him -- he's an expert. He and a collaborator also created a magnificently hand-illustrated booklet of the key points and takeaways. His talk will be a hard act to follow! Roi led us in building on the content of his talk through interactive activities related to the theme. This included talking with those at our table about times we had personally managed conflict in our lives, and a main course activity that entailed negotiating over food (what else)! Another key component of the dinner was the great connections and conversations! See, everyone seems pretty happy, food fighting and all. Some great connections were formed, heated conversations took place, sparked by the topic of conflict -- and plenty of theme-appropriate food was consumed. In short, I would declare that we all collaborated together to create a win-win situation. Until the next FED! Photos by Liya Palagashvili Yes folks it's the end of August in NYC, and the pace has slowed down to a slow sizzle. Where can you find that jolt of inspiration that's electrifying, inspiring, soul-satisfying...
…At FED! In less than a week, Roi Ben-Yehuda will rock the stage with his FED talk on dispute negotiation, conflict intelligence, and how you can put conflict to work for you. Over a gourmet four-course meal! Still not convinced? Here are 5 more excellent reasons you should come to FED 8/28: 1. Because regardless of whether we’re world-peace negotiators, or office-politics-navigators, or married, or humans in relationships of any kind... it is impossible to escape conflict in our lives. The question is: what do we do about it? 2. Because if you sign up, you'll get to take a survey where you'll learn your conflict type – how you generally experience and manage conflict (know thyself!) The event itself may put you in experiential situations where you'll find yourself using your wit – and conflict learnings – to negotiate and resolve conflicts with fellow dinner guests (know thy fellow dinner guests!) 3. Because part of the FED experience is a curated dinner guest attendance, amongst whom I will network-weave connections. Want to meet interesting people and develop your support network in NYC? The group so far is scintillating – you want to be there too! 4. Because while we're experiencing conflict, the food will be, too. The vegetable spears may appear dangerously close to erupting into battle (don't worry, soon they'll get drowned in tahini), and you should definitely watch out for those torpedo-shaped fried bulgur patties. And you know you're still wondering about that chicken and that egg... 5. Because the venue is awesome. Did I mention exposed brick and chandeliers? And, because you want to know where it is... Sign up today! When it comes to designing a menu, I go all out. There’s a great deal of contemplation, soul-searching, and research that goes into an extensive process which is really about digging into the mindset of a meal, its inner psyche. The first step is to establish the meal’s overall theme or feel, its raison d’etre, one might say. Then, I ask the simple question: If I was this theme, but I was food, what would I be? Fun game, right?
So the theme for FED: 8/28 is conflict resolution. Our presenter Roi Ben-Yehuda will speak eloquently to this topic (incidentally, you can see an example of his thoughtfulness and charisma here); I wanted the food to likewise represent this theme in its own, equally scintillating manner. What kind of food is in conflict with itself? I gave this question considerable thought… and here is the menu I came up with for this gourmet, four-course meal! First Course Chaucerian Buckler Cake Bread Grilled Vegetables Torpedo Kibbeh Israeli-Arab Salad Vegetable Spears Drowning in Tehina Soup Two-toned Carrot Pea Soup Main Course Sweet and Sour Salmon over Coconut Rice “Chicken”-and-egg Shakshuka Pressure-Cooker Tuscan Bean Stew Making a Tzimmes Out of It Khoresht Gheymeh of Dried Lemon Split Peas Saag Paneer Pie Dessert Chocolate truffle devil's hamburger in an angel food cake bun You may be thinking, OK, that sounds delicious… but what does any of this have to do with conflict? I said I like to get into the mindset of the theme, and I meant it. To help you understand the conflicted nature of this food, here is just a taste of how these foods spoke to me. The Chaucerian Buckler Cake It thinks: Be careful out there. It's the Middle Ages, and there are a lot of really unenlightened types roaming about. It is best if you carry a round shield called a buckler with you at all times. What, you say I'm carrying a round loaf of bread? What do you mean it’s a loaf of bread? The conflict: Chaucer's Summoner seems conflicted as to what would happen to him first along his long journey: he would need to eat, or to avoid being eaten. Clearly he feels best prepared by adapting a middle road: carrying something which is shield-shaped, but actually a loaf of bread. This makes him a striking example of an early pacifist: make bread not war. Grilled Vegetables It thinks: Hey there eggplant, I'm not done talking to you! I have more questions, and I demand answers! Answers I say, answers!! Where were you the night that that zucchini got chopped to pieces? You're turning purple and breaking out in a salted sweat? Well if you can't take the heat, stay out of this kitchen! Conflict: Boisterous vegetables can have antagonistic interrogation styles. Two-toned Carrot Pea Soup It thinks: Two soups are warring in the bowl: one, a vibrant orange; the other, a deep emerald green. Conflict: The swirling of the warring soups creates a bold design which in its unexpected beauty is startlingly zen. There is an art to warfare. And sometimes the explosive energy of a deep and passionate war can be harnessed to create art. Making a Tzimmes Out of It It thinks: We were doing just fine with the carrots. Then those big mean sweet potatoes came on the scene. They started tossing around apricots. And plums. And then they all got stewed -- oh the horror! Conflict: You will pardon this over-dramatization, but that's Yiddish expressions for you. To make a tzimmes is to make a big mess, fuss, or production out of a given situation. Many a conflict escalates because the drama between the players construes it into something greater and greater, until soon if you don't stop this tzimmes, you'll have to answer to the President of the United States himself! I'll stop. I just wanted some tzimmes. Thanks. “Chicken”-and-egg Shakshuka It thinks: It's an age-old question, really. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It couldn't have been the egg - because who laid the first egg? It couldn't have been the chicken, because -- wait a minute, this is a vegetarian meal, there isn't any chicken! (but there's "chicken.") We could sit around debating the origins of this dish endlessly -- or we could just eat it all at once! Conflict: 1. Really we just want to eat the damned chicken already... but we're vegetarian. 2. With the origins of this dish under such intractable dispute, one wonders how I'd manage to create it at all. This gets to complex metaphysical questions which are outside the scope of this blog post. Stay tuned for more conflicted food coming soon to a dinner party near you. I was privileged to assist Chef Philip Hanes at his guest chef appearance at the CENA supper club (cenanyc.com). His multi-course Modern French tasting menu melded into a dining experience that also featured live music by DJ Jesse Mann, cocktails, an art exhibit by Danielle Mastrion, and live painting by Broke MC, all in a fantastic pop-up space in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. CENA has a great tagline: "Farmers. Chefs. Diners. Unite." It prides itself on sourcing all products locally, creating a beautiful, symbiotic web of local chefs, food, and diners. This dinner in particular supported fishers from the Northeast, Brooklyn bakers -- and who could do without the neighborhood bon bon maker, Angela Amorizzo? The chef's menu drew from the piscine culinary arts, showcasing salmon gravlax, citrus ceviche, and seared striped bass. I personally became acquainted with a new fruit, rambutan, an exotic, tropical treat from Southeast Asia which much resembles a sea urchin yet tastes like lychee. A lesser known fact about them is that they are delicious in creme brulee! If it sounds like Philip knows what he's talking about when it comes to gourmet cuisine -- he does! He has worked for Le Bec Fin, DB Bistro Moderne, Lasserre, Le Bernardin, and Marriott International, and has a degree from the Ecole Grégoire-Ferrandi in classic French cuisine. He also writes for Food Tank. His newest exciting venture, Moving Gastronomy, aims to expand the fine dining experience, especially through introducing forward-thinking food topics like sustainable agriculture, nutrition, and food justice. It was amazing having the opportunity to work with him, as well as with his colleague, Edgar Astudillo, who has also worked at Le Bernardin. I love creative dinner parties of all kinds -- as an organizer and foodie myself, it's extraordinary to be able to experience new vibes that others are cooking up. I find it tremendously inspiring to be in the company of other chefs and organizers -- like CENA founder Naomi Santos, who is a fantastic hostess and under whose watch the evening ran flawlessly. Not to mention that the evening was one part of CENA's One Night Only series of three events in the span of several weeks! (The other two featured French/Indian Fusion by Chef Jasmine Sheth and Modern American by Chef Michael Patlazhan.) The dinner party experience is clearly so en vogue here and now in New York City -- and it is so exciting to me to be a part of feeding and growing that movement. So, before the place is discussed (it's pictured above), it should be said that it was really, critically important to me to get this right for FED. You know what they say: location, location, location... It's not just that, though. It's that the vibe of a place is immensely powerful in setting the tone of an experience -- almost as though its physical skeleton is also a metaphysical structure that will hold and shape the content of what the people enact within it. I recently had the privilege of catering a dinner for the International Crisis Group, hosted by Daniel Pincus. The guest speaker was the UN Secretary-General’s Special Adviser on Yemen, Mr. Jamal Benomar. I was really excited to honor the theme of the night by researching and preparing traditional Yemenite food. I'd like to share some of the amazing and exotic dishes I discovered.
Into the mix I tossed some traditional Jewish Yemenite recipes that I have developed in my repertoire over time. Kubaneh is a special bread made for Shabbat -- it is a buttery, challah-like dough that is baked overnight along with hardboiled eggs. I also made ful mudammas (though you will have to forgive my creativity, as this bean dish is originally Egyptian), as well as eggplant and hummus dips, of course. And a Yemenite meal would not be complete without schug! This spicy dip is made of ground jalapeño peppers, cilantro and spices. I love these culinary adventures which make me feel somehow so close to brothers and sisters so far away. In particular, I'd like to give a shoutout to A Yemeniyah, Dr. Lamya Almas, whose recipe blog gave me tremendous inspiration. As I cooked and my house filled with all of these exotic smells, I felt like I was with her in her kitchen, even though it is half a world away. Yihna! (Bon Appetit!) This post is cross-posted from The Times of Israel Blog. * On August 28th, conflict resolution and negotiation specialist Roi Ben-Yehuda will be the featured presenter at FED: dinner parties where you are fed by gourmet food, inspirational ideas, and the company and creative energy of your matched dinner companions. The following is an interview conducted between Deborah Fishman (FED founder) and Roi Ben-Yehuda. 1. Tell me a little about your background. How did you develop this interest in studying conflict? I’m originally from Israel and came to the US (later Spain) in the late 90s. From an early age I enjoyed solving problems and being helpful to others. So studying conflict was very attractive to me. I did my graduate work in negotiation and conflict resolution at Columbia University and am currently doing my PhD at George Mason University. My dissertation topic is on the role of surprise and conflict de-escalation. I now teach negotiation and conflict resolution at Columbia and John Jay College. 2. How does your identity as an Israeli impact your interest in conflict resolution? As you might imagine, conflict is rather ubiquitous when you’re growing up in Israel. It’s not just the macro conflicts. We Israelis are a quarrelsome bunch, and conflict regularly emerges in many day-to-day interactions. So one of the first lessons of consciously living in Israel is that conflict is a natural, and even essential, part of life. It’s never a question of whether or not you will have it, but rather how will you manage it when it happens. There are destructive and constructive ways of managing conflict. So as paradoxical as it may sound, you need to make peace with conflict. Growing up in Israel helped me realize that and sparked my interest in the field. 3. From the conflicts you have worked on, what are some of the hardest to resolve? Conflicts become really difficult and resistant to change when they degenerate from task-based to relationship conflicts. This usually happens when a particular issue that is negotiable is ignored or mismanaged. Oftentimes, other problems then begin to attach themselves– many of them personal. When the conflict becomes about the other person as opposed to the situation, it becomes very difficult to disentangle the issues and resolve them. So another important lessons is to know what kind of conflict you are in. 4. What are the most important elements that go into analyzing a conflict? There are so many variables that can be considered when analyzing a conflict. You could look at the actors, issues, needs, narratives, environment, context, dynamics, culture, etc. However, if I had to boil it down to a top three – and here I am following the excellent research of Peter Coleman and Rob Ferguson – it would be: 1) relationship importance: How important are the other disputants to me? 2) mutual goals: Are the others with me or against me (or both)? and 3) power balance: Am I more or less powerful than them, or are we equals? The combination of these three factors largely determines our behaviors in conflict situations. 5. What is one common pitfall you’ve seen in conflict resolution, and how can we learn from it? A common pitfall that we see over and over again is people’s tendency to view conflicts as a zero-sum game: if I win, you lose, and if you win, I lose. This, of course, can be self-fulfilling. What we can learn from this is that our perception matters. Often how we see things is not an accurate reflection of the way things are. In fact, research shows that most conflicts involve mixed motives: people have incentives both to compete and to cooperate. If we move from a strictly competitive orientation, we have the power to constructively transform the conflicts in our lives. 6. What traits do you think you have or see in others who are good at understanding/resolving conflict? Great question. Besides subject-matter expertise, cooperative orientation, and analytical intelligence, I would say that the most common traits of great practitioners are: a capacity for empathy; great communication skills; comfort with contradiction; imagination; flexibility; and an optimistic disposition. Let me just say a little about each. By empathy I mean a capacity to generously imagine what it’s like to think and feel like someone else. Successful practitioners recognize that their own perspective, while valid, is inherently limited; the reality of the situation is multifaceted and complex. So they try to see things from the other’s perspective. Doing so also allows others to feel heard and understood. Relatedly, exceptional conflict practitioners also demonstrate comfort with contradiction and an ability to think dialectally. Like Walt Whitman, they recognize that humans contain multitudes, and that not every element of our identity, thought, and feelings need to neatly cohere. Such recognition allows for greater tolerance towards self and other. Interestingly, research shows that East-Asian cultures fare much better with such thinking than European-American. Another essential trait is solid communication skills. This involves expressing oneself clearly and persuasively (which assumes a degree of self-knowledge), but it’s not limited to that. Communication is also a matter of asking the right questions (being curious) and actively listening and being attuned to someone else. A great conflict resolver has to cultivate their imagination and creativity. That is, to be able to reframe problems, come up with multiple options to a given problem, and see potentialities in the conflict system that are not apparent or obvious to others. Successful conflict practitioners also demonstrate flexibility. They are able to adapt and fit the situation. As we will discuss in our FED talk, different conflict situations call for different forms of interventions, and practitioners need to be fluent in various conflict styles. Finally, great conflict practitioners have a seemingly unending reservoir of hope. I believe it was Camus who said, “Where there is no hope, we must invent it.” Great peacemakers teach us that we must sustain hope. But not just any hope. We need tough hope, at once ambitious and realistic. Hope that is tenacious enough to deal with all difficulties that conflict entails. Of course, no one possesses all these qualities in equal measure (I am still holding out hope that a conflict resolution super-hero will star in the next blockbuster). But to one degree or another, these are the traits that make conflict resolution possible. The good news is that all of these traits can be cultivated by each and every one of us. Interested in attending FED featuring Roi Ben-Yehuda on 8/28? Learn more here! |
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